Blog Post
dealing with your trauma
a brief guide
“how do I deal with my trauma?”
Sooner or later in the course of a conversation or training event, this question will often come up. I hope that this post is a helpful resource for anyone who is living with that question. I will continue to add to it as I come across new information.
Understanding Trauma:
My observation is that folks are greatly helped when they have a better understanding of trauma. Knowing what it is and how it works and shows up in our lives can really help us make sense of our experience, both past experiences and current ones.
Understanding how trauma can be healed and transformed is also really empowering, it helps us know how we can help ourselves, what actions we can take to move forward.
Whether its attending training, reading books, finding a podcast, improving your understanding of trauma is going to help you deal with your trauma.
Getting Professional Help
The first thing that most people think of when considering professional help is usually talking based therapy or counseling. This can be really helpful for trauma, however for most of us it is only a part of the answer since much of trauma sits beyond the reach of language. For most of us who carry trauma, especially childhood trauma, we will need a multi modal approach to our trauma therapy.
Modalities
The different trauma therapy modalities can be body based like Somatic Experiencing and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, brain based like EMDR, Neurofeedback or Brain spotting, physiologically based like Breathwork and Polyvagal work, creativity based like Art and Dance Therapy, nature based like Equine Therapy, and meditation based like Mindfulness. Once you understand how trauma works, it will become clear why each modality is indeed effective in its healing. You can find out the basis for each modality here.
The gold standard for trauma therapy in the UK (and worldwide in fact) is the Khiron Clinics. I would recommend doing their online questionnaire to get an idea of what level of help might be worth you considering. You can arrange a one hour assessment for a more accurate picture of what might be helpful; you will get a report and recommended pathway tailored to your unique needs and circumstances. Don’t be put off by costs, they have cost effective group work options and if you are in the UK your GP can refer you for NHS funding (you’ll use your assessment report for this), if you’re not in the UK they have other funding options. Based on the people endorsing them publicly you can be assured you will be receiving the best care available.
Photo by Liana S on unsplash
Directories
The other way to find a therapist is to look at the various directories available. I would recommend sticking to the directories held by professional bodies (like the BACP) and those held by specialist trauma training bodies (like the IFS training UK).
In your search for a therapist the most important thing is to ensure that they are qualified, accredited and experienced; if they are not, then keep looking till you find one that is!
- Qualified – make sure that they have a verified higher-education level qualification in counseling or psychotherapy AND qualifications in one or more trauma modalities that you are interested in.
- Accredited – make sure that they belong to and are accountable to a national professional body, and that they have supervision.
- Experienced – make sure that they have a few years of experience and check what past and current clients say about them.
Once you find a qualified, accredited, experienced therapist you think might work for you, arrange an exploratory call, it’s really important that you feel seen and safe, and like you connect well. The purpose of the exploratory call is to see how well you connect with each other. If you are uneasy about the person, find someone else!
Photo by Elijah Hiett on unsplash
Should I go for a Christian therapist?
If they meet the criteria above, and you felt good about the exploratory call, and that is your preference then by all means! However, a good therapist will be able to honour and work with your faith on your healing journey even if they do not share it. And if the choice is between a less experienced and qualified Christian therapist and a more experienced and qualified therapist who isnt, I would go with the more experienced and qualified one every time.
Unofficially Therapeutic Options
As you understand how trauma works you will realise that there are plenty of activities and interventions that will assist your journey of healing that are not specific to trauma.* Check out my previous posts on becoming re-embodied and the benefits of a good shake.
Movement based activities are really helpful – such as dance, yoga or any exercise, especially things that require the alternating movement of your limbs or your body from one side to the other, and anything that requires you to reconnect with your body and be aware of it in time and space.
Activities that have you interacting with nature are great, anything from walking in the park to caring for a pet or plants.
Self defence and some martial arts classes can be really helpful if your body needs to become reacquainted with its capacity to fight or flight effectively in the face of danger.
Expressive activities and classes such as art, pottery, writing poetry and drama can help with finding new ways of identifying and expressing your thoughts and how you feel about things.
Protective and Compensatory Experiences
These are from a list of ten things that have been shown to mitigate the development of trauma and can help in its processing and transformation.**
Healthy, safe relationships: whatever you can do to learn how to relate healthily to others, to remove yourself from unhealthy relationships where necessary and to foster greater health in your relationships will be key to transforming your trauma and can reverse some of its long term effects.
Being part of a small community or team that engenders a healthy sense of belonging in its members, where people take each other as they come with mutual honour and respect is shown to be powerful for transforming trauma.
Helping is a big one; getting involved in making a difference because we can and want to, rather than for remuneration, is powerful for the recovery of trauma. Likewise, having a hobby, something that we do simply because we enjoy doing it, is also really helpful for trauma healing.
Developing and maintaining clear routines and boundaries and being involved in settings and groups that have clear healthy routines and fair boundaries, is a surprisingly important thing that is central on the trauma healing journey. For those who struggle to, eventually saying ‘No’ can have powerful medicinal effects on the body.***
Hopefully this information has been helpful. If you would like some help working out what the best next step for you to take is, I would be very happy to have a chat or we can schedule in a couple of coaching sessions.
If you haven’t attended one of my trauma training events yet or would like a refresher, then do book yourself in. The more we understand how trauma is operating in us the better equipped we are for our journey of healing. Wherever you are on your journey, know that all trauma can be healed and transformed with the right environment and processing; there is always hope! (Next time I will write about prayer and the miraculous as ways of dealing with trauma.)
* Bessel Van der Kolk’s book The Body Keeps the Score provides a fairly comprehensive guide to the range of activities that can be effective in the transformation of trauma.
** Morris, A, S. and Hays-Grudo, J. (2023) Protective and compensatory childhood experiences and their impact on adult mental health. World Psychiatry, 22 (1) pp.150-151.
*** In his book The Myth of Normal, Gabor Mate relates the stories of a number of clients who experienced such a transformation. Although a study is yet to be done there is plenty of anecdotal evidence of this.